25 Things Revisited

Five years ago, I sat down and wrote out 25 things that I wanted to remind myself during my self-proclaimed “quarter life crisis”. So much has happened since that time, and I decided to sit down and write an updated version to myself of things I want to remember at 30. In doing this, and comparing it to my age-25 notes, it was amazing to see how far I have come as an adult and how much more I have to learn about life.

1. Don’t lose sight of what truly matters. Does that clogged sink signify the end of the world? Are you going to remember or even care that the stranger you smiled at in the coffee shop didn’t smile back? When people have a bad day, it is easy to zoom in on the petty things and complain about them. Next time you are pulling your hair out, ask yourself if it truly matters.
2. It is okay to be alone, or pull back from the world. Take a step back and re-evaluate a situation, a relationship or just life in general. Learn to become your own best friend. Self care is critical and severely overlooked in today’s hustle and bustle.
3. You are not always in control. You cannot predict when certain things will or should happen, or how everything will turn out. Sometimes you just have to stop pushing and let go.
4. Don’t give up. If you’re fighting for something that means a lot to you, don’t stop fighting whenever you happen to fall short or when it might seem to be impossible. Remind yourself why you are fighting in the first place.
5. You don’t have to know all of the answers. No one ever has life figured out. We are always learning and growing and life itself is a mystery. It is totally okay to feel clueless sometimes.
6. Never forget the moment you fell in love with your husband and all of the many reasons you love him. In a world where society is okay with jumping from one relationship into another, odds are stacked against happy marriages. You are in one and no human can take that away from you.
7. Always make time for your parents. This grows even more true as time passes. They sacrificed so much just to have you when no one else wanted you; it is now your turn to sacrifice for them.
8. What other people think is irrelevant. Don’t let your immediate reaction to criticism be to change whatever it is you’re being criticized for. It is true that what other people think of you is none of your business.
9. You. Are. Enough. Give yourself a chance instead of forming limiting beliefs.
10. Stay present. Try not to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Take everything one day at a time.
11. Feelings will not kill you. Heartbreak, grief, depression or resentment might make you feel like you’re dead and breathing, but you have the strength to get through whatever life throws at you.
12. Keep writing. Know that some of the things you write will be really bad. Write because it makes you happy. Write because it is important to have hobbies. Write because putting your thoughts down on paper has always been therapeutic for you; write because sometimes, on very rare occasions, the things you write will be more powerful that you would have ever thought.
13. You are human. This is probably the biggest reminder of them all. You will make mistakes. You will hurt other people and other people will hurt you. You won’t always feel happy and positive. Next time you feel the urge to beat yourself up over any of these things, remind yourself that you are an imperfect human instead.
14. You are blessed. Often our busy, daily lives can blind us to how blessed we truly are. Simple comparison from 5 years ago to now: you were living in someone’s spare bedroom and you now live in a house that is paid for. You were driving a ‘90 Buick LeSabre with a hole in the hood and you are now in a 2017 Jeep Renegade that you were able to buy new. You struggled financially and sometimes had to skip certain bills just to ensure that you had food on the table and now you don’t even have to live paycheck to paycheck. God has brought you a long way, girlfriend; don’t ever forget that.
15. Your focused presence matters. While modern technology can be life-changing in many beneficial ways, there is an aspect of this technology that greatly interferes with our lives and relationships. Do not be so addicted to a screen that you miss out on the opportunity to enjoy real life unfolding in front of you. Learn to disconnect. Learn to slow down. Give people your full and undivided attention.
16. Find the miracle and awe in the everyday: a cool breeze, a great yawn, your dogs’ lying carefree in your lap, the night sky, the sunset over the lake...then you will see that all of the “bigger” stuff is simply icing on the proverbial cake of life.
17. The past cannot be changed. It’s one of the only things in life that cannot be edited, erased or forgotten. Yes, awful things happened when you were younger - but each hardship is a lesson and each lesson gives you the chance for you to grow. You can’t dwell on your mistakes.
18. Kindness is free. It costs absolutely nothing to be nice; choose kindness.
19. Smiles are contagious. I remember seeing a poster on campus that read “attitudes are infectious, make yours worth catching” and it stuck with me ever since. If you smile at someone, chances are they’ll smile back.
20. You only fail if you quit. It’s as simple as that. Every time you try, you have the potential and the opportunity to succeed. If you don’t do it that time, you can learn why not and how you can go about things next time.
21. Along those lines, there is always something you can learn in any subject or situation. Remember that one relative you have that knows everything about everything? You have watched him fail time after time with the obvious reasons for failure staring him in the face. Be the person who actively looks for new things to learn.